Text-only versions of these two episodes appear below.

THE TEMPLE

The Psykick Kwesters are on an Astral Pilgrimage to ancient Tibet. They discover a mystic temple hidden in the mountains.

They start to speculate about the mysterious building. Eric Runestone says it must be the long lost temple of the Holy Grail. Snakemist says it's a shrine to Hanuman, the cuddly monkey god. Abigail says it's the sacred womb of Tara, the goddess of compassion. Hammond says it's the legendary nexus of the giant Space Gods.

Then they speculate some more... Eric Runestone thinks "the Holy Grail" and imagines a huge golden phallus. Snakemist pictures herself in a frenzied sex session with the monkey god. Abigail imagines the goddess of compassion in the throes of orgasm. Hammond thinks of the giant Space Gods and pictures a towering female form with oversized breasts!

THE DA VINCI CODE

The Psykick Kwesters are researching the hidden truths contained in Dan Brown's best-selling novel The Da Vinci code.

Abigail says the pre-Christian pagans all worshipped the one true Goddess. Eric Runestone says the Holy Grail is a set of documents that disproves the Bible. Snakemist says that Leonardo’s paintings symbolize the sacred feminine. Hammond says the Knights Templar were the victims of the ultimate conspiracy.

They use their Astral Bodies to travel back in time. Abigail visits the Emperor Constantine. Eric Runestone visits Joseph of Arimathea. Snakemist visits Leonardo Da Vinci. Hammond visits Pope Clement the Fifth.

Abigail tells the Emperor Constantine that pre-Christian pagans worshipped the one true Goddess. Constantine disagrees -- he says they worshipped hundreds of gods and goddesses.

Eric Runestone tells Joseph of Arimathea that the Holy Grail is a collection of banned scriptures. Joseph disagrees -- he says the Holy Grail is Christ's chalice from the Last Supper.

Snakemist tells Leonardo da Vinci that his paintings symbolize the sacred feminine. Leonardo disagrees -- he says his paintings use 15th century Christian symbols.

Hammond tells Pope Clement the Fifth that the Pope outlawed the Templars because he feared their secret knowledge. The Pope disagrees -- he says he outlawed the Templars because they were corrupt.

Never ones to let awkward facts get in the way of a good theory, the Psykick Kwesters quickly move on to their favorite bit of The Da Vinci Code... Hieros Gamos, the pagan sex ritual. Eric Runestone copulates with Abigail. Hammond copulates with Snakemist. Worshipping at the altar of the sacred feminine!